OneGuyOfMany >> #16886927
Posted on 2023-11-30 14:03:17 Score: 4 (vote Up) ( Report comment )

Anon:"A full week of sex, huh? I'm gonna have to check my schedule."
*whips out pencil and notebook*
Anon:[mutters to self] "hmm let's see. I've got a dissertation due on the 4th, a doctor's appointment this tuesday, work from 8 to 3-..."
Ombrage: "Babe?"
Anon:[slaps own forehead] "Right! We'll need condoms. Also orange juice. It's cheaper to buy in bulk, so I'll order us a crate and a keg we can keep in the kitchen. We'll also need ice to keep the perishables it refrigerated and have to prep our meals too so that we can maximize our fucking time. Maybe get a timer? How many reps do we usually last?"
Ombrage: "Babe."
Anon: "Nevermind, I can estimate it. Just divide our average individual masturbation lengths (X) by an arousal factor of (Y) and subtract (Z) minutes of foreplay from each session and adjust for refractory period. Our bodies will adapt over time, so we'll have to climax in multiples of each other's variable average sex lengths in order for us to end together or else we'll end up cumming at different Fibonacci sequences. We can adjust for lost time by using vibrators in our sleep. There's this cute little shop down in-"
Ombrage: "BABE!"
Anon: "Yeah?" Ombrage: "I'm done." Anon: "Great! I'll get my stopwatch.":D