NESBoy said:
Well, I really do appreciate that you're trying to give me some advice, but the problem here is that I can't just think about it... When I do that, I get all obsessed with the fantasy and it causes me to derail any RP we were doing at the time in favor of just doing the fantasy. I guess it's my own fault, I need to develop better self-control so then I don't do that.
I apologize for constantly shooting down what you're saying, I'm not trying to brush off what you're saying or anything, but I don't think I can just merely think about them, as thinking about it is what's causing the problem to begin with.
Crysanthium said:
Well that's my point.
Either make it non-influential or positively influential.
Either turn it into a turn off by association, or turn it into something you don't feel guilty about when you think of it.
This doesn't have anything to do with your partner, this has to do with you.
If your partner doesn't like it, well, as long as you don't force it on them, than who cares?
You shouldn't need to lock out how you feel about something just because a person you care about feels differently.
I have a ton of things I enjoy thinking about and musing over that generally people around me either don't care about or are hardline against (I live with a serious trump supporter) but that doesn't make me feel guilty about thinking those things.
And if you need to indulge, do it, as long as you're in an open relationship. If you aren't, then just fantasize about it online, draw it, do what literally everyone else on this site does and look at pics.
NESBoy said:
I suppose but, the problem here is that I don't want it to be a kink I focus on. I want it to go back to being a kink I didn't really think much about, seeing as my partner doesn't really like it and I don't really like thinking about it either.
Though, associating it as a turn-off could possibly work... Would all I need to do is simply tell myself that I don't like that kink when it comes up, and eventually I'll get over it?
Crysanthium said:
I went on a bit of a tangent and I apologize, what I mean is that you can't outthink yourself. What you need to do is put yourself in a position physically where your priorities change.
In order to solve your problem, you need to no longer consider it a problem.
Put yourself in a place where you associate your kink with your turnoffs and slowly start considering your kink a turnoff too
Or better yet, stop considering your cuckold kink negative at all. The more you push back against it and hate yourself over it and loathe it, the more you'll enjoy it and the harder it'll be to think about anything else.
That makes you feel bad for no other reason than you wanting to feel bad about yourself
I went on a bit of a tangent and I apologize, what I mean is that you can't outthink yourself. What you need to do is put yourself in a position physically where your priorities change.
In order to solve your problem, you need to no longer consider it a problem.
Put yourself in a place where you associate your kink with your turnoffs and slowly start considering your kink a turnoff too
Or better yet, stop considering your cuckold kink negative at all. The more you push back against it and hate yourself over it and loathe it, the more you'll enjoy it and the harder it'll be to think about anything else.
That makes you feel bad for no other reason than you wanting to feel bad about yourself
I suppose but, the problem here is that I don't want it to be a kink I focus on. I want it to go back to being a kink I didn't really think much about, seeing as my partner doesn't really like it and I don't really like thinking about it either.
Though, associating it as a turn-off could possibly work... Would all I need to do is simply tell myself that I don't like that kink when it comes up, and eventually I'll get over it?
Well that's my point.
Either make it non-influential or positively influential.
Either turn it into a turn off by association, or turn it into something you don't feel guilty about when you think of it.
This doesn't have anything to do with your partner, this has to do with you.
If your partner doesn't like it, well, as long as you don't force it on them, than who cares?
You shouldn't need to lock out how you feel about something just because a person you care about feels differently.
I have a ton of things I enjoy thinking about and musing over that generally people around me either don't care about or are hardline against (I live with a serious trump supporter) but that doesn't make me feel guilty about thinking those things.
And if you need to indulge, do it, as long as you're in an open relationship. If you aren't, then just fantasize about it online, draw it, do what literally everyone else on this site does and look at pics.
Well, I really do appreciate that you're trying to give me some advice, but the problem here is that I can't just think about it... When I do that, I get all obsessed with the fantasy and it causes me to derail any RP we were doing at the time in favor of just doing the fantasy. I guess it's my own fault, I need to develop better self-control so then I don't do that.
I apologize for constantly shooting down what you're saying, I'm not trying to brush off what you're saying or anything, but I don't think I can just merely think about them, as thinking about it is what's causing the problem to begin with.
Come back when you don't want to reinforce your depression.
