They say the first step to getting over something is to admit you have a problem. Well, I am a serial ghoster.

I own and "operate" over 6 different Discord accounts used for various types of RP. However, they have all lain dormant for...about 2-4 months. Leaving various RP partners that I've kind of developed friendships with completely in the dark as to my whereabouts or wellbeing.

Anyone ever feel like it's just too awkward to continue talking to someone after too long of a silence? Like, I'll forget to respond to one message. Suddenly five days go by with complete radio silence on my part, and when I finally realize the issue I'm just too embarrassed to come back, and end up being silent for another week...or a few months.

The worst part of it all, though? I'm not really missing it. Turns out, online RP takes up A LOT of time and creative energy which I've been investing into my own personal projects instead.

It seems too awkward to come in and break our relationship off completely, "Hey I know we haven't talked for a few months, but we won't talk again for a few more months." Besides what if I change my mind? I can't just come back to them, can I?

Ugh, sorry for the rant, but can anyone provide some insight? Feel free to talk about your similair issues here.

Well, first of all don't try to bite more than you can chew. I always prefered quality over quantity. I cannot imagine how you manage to send decent and regular messages with so many discord accounts.

Most people will understand and even appriciate that you messaged them. It might be a little akward but it will be much more elegant behaviour to inform them that you are busy/not interested anymore. If you have to, break the connection because sending someone half ass lazy messages is not cool. Repsect their time and investment.

TLDR: Just don't be an asshole and respect others.

My main issue is that sometimes irl erodes my will and desire to do anything I enjoy

But I'll always try and keep people I'm messaging updated. Much easier on discord cause I can know they got the message.

Additional problem on this site is that sometimes messagss just dont go through. A few months back was trying to plan something with a couple people but my messages "allegedly" never were received. Like they could just be lying but since they did respond to a follow up message inquiring if they received I'd like to assume they were truthful. This went on for a few times and I just stopped caring, and I never got any other messages from them so I assume they stopped caring or didnt care to begin with also.

I can easily imagine the crowd who complains continuously and in many cases quite justifiably about getting ghosted gleefully oiling up their torches and sharpening the tines on their pitchforks with you in mind, MasterJackal.

Here's the thing about not responding for a few days, then feeling so guilty or embarrassed about doing so that you never respond again- Ignoring or avoiding a problem doesn't solve it, it only allows the problem to fester and grow. It only takes moments to dash off a quick DM saying "Hey, things have gotten kind of hectic around here, no time to RP. No break in the foreseeable future either, but maybe we can RP again some time when things calm down", or words to that effect. That way they know you're not pissed off and haven't forgotten them but merely got busy with non-specific real-world concerns, and all should be forgiven and okay.

If you know it's a problem, and you know you're doing it, then the simple solution is to not do it.

Seriously, even a simple "sorry, I'm unable to continue" is enough. If people have given you their time and effort, the least you can do is a sentence saying you can't finish. You could have sent out 10 such messages in the time it took you to type out and post this.

Assuming the dm actually goes through lol

Yeah. I should probably announce to my inquirers when I'm not available for play and that I might forget due to the volume of DMs I get.

Not to people asking. This is in reference to people you're already messaging. You don't have to give randos the time of day.

No problems with ghosting here, I got the Ghostbusters on speed dial after all.

Who here DOESN'T have a ghosting problem? Ghosting be rampant on this site.

fr. It’s fucking everywhere, pretty annoying

I can't really say I have, but that's also because people don't really mail each other as much as I once thought we all would lol. Occasionally someone will DM me and say something, but the conversation doesn't really go anywhere.

it's common, but sometimes it can't be helped. the way I see it, you can send a response, but I'd say that you should always treat it like "and that's it" like you're ending the message in a way. helps cut off that baggage, you know?

Wow. Genuinely impressed this post is coming from the other perspective for once. It's cool to want to be better about not ghosting people, and the fact you feel guilty means you're probably a good person and you're just conflict averse. Very relatable. I agree with the Big Boy/Girl/NB answers people have given, but I'm also gonna provide another perspective:

It's actually totally okay to just drop off the face of the earth when online RP is concerned. It's just RP. It's pretendy fun time games we agree to play with strangers, and occasionally those strangers stop being strangers. But if your entire reason for knowing one another is to typefuck at each other, then... yeah? It's actually fine to stop showing up. It's an opt-in activity, not a longterm relationship.

You should still strive to be cordial and polite whenever possible, but don't beat yourself up over something of such little consequence.

Don't think anyone would be upset about that. I could drop off for months suddenly, come back and continue where we left off if those people are still around. There's no obligations, unless you make promises, which you shouldn't.