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Sand-Snake >> #19401079
Posted on 2024-04-19 06:31:17 Score: 0 (vote Up) ( Report comment )
Artist Comment: Hacker: "HEY! WHO ARE YOU?! This is my apartment, get out loser!"
Detective: "I'm Detective Monroe, and you are the little punk who has hacked the state medical records computer and is threatening to delete everyone's records unless you get paid a ransom. Well, I've caught you now."
Hacker: "You moron cop! The authorities have agreed to pay the ransom because I'm a tech genius and my virus is set up so if I ever get registered on a police, court or prison computer as arrested the medical records all get automatically deleted! Now get out my home, fool!... HEY! WHY ARE YOU TAKING THAT GUN OUT!!!"
Detective: "Now strip you little rat!"
Hacker: "Alright, alright! ... There, I'm undressed, but it doesn't make any difference. Even if you are willing to see all the medical records deleted when I'm arrested, now you've made me strip without a woman cop present, I'll get off at trial!"
Detective: "You're going away for a very long time, nerd girl. But you aren't getting arrested or put on trial. I'm handing you over to Dark Web Auctions!"
...
DWA in-house Doctor: "Okay, so here we have inventory item 29274, formerly known as Orla Reilly. Caucasian of Celtic origin. Tested negative for STDs and pregnancy. Nearly all medical tests were normal - the only thing physically I found wrong was a bad deficiency of Vitamin D."
Sophy: "Yes, I hear this one didn't go out into the sunlight much." Doctor: "Moving onto her mental health, there's lots more wrong. Temper tantrums, delusions, socially withdrawn, and clearly has a Narcissistic personality disorder. She is also the most sex starved woman I have ever met. Going to be hard to sell her like that, Sophy." Sophy: "Too much time home alone in front of a computer. Well me and Pippa here will take care of that 'sex starved' problem when we test drive Ginger, which I suspect is the root of all her other problems. A vigorous threesome should sort her head out." Doctor: "Seriously, I don't think even a threesome will be enough to get her back to normal. She needs to be locked in a bedroom overnight with a dozen Marines who have just come back from six months in the jungle." Sophy: "That's not a problem. I have a senior level contact at the Corps who owes me a favour. A dozen Marines you say?"
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