ManOrTrap
03/29/17 02:54AM
Not able to confess.
Hello there! I have something serious to talk about because maybe I need some kind of a help, or just advice, but before I ask that question let me explain the situation.

I am 19 year old male and I live in one not really amazing country. It's Serbia and that's kinda where my problem comes from. I can say I am a manly man and I love girls and all, but I have something that is considered as a sin here. It's not really that I am 100% gay, I just love traps. I understand people here why they hate LGBT, It's simply because they were always at war through the history and all we had is religion to give us a hope, but we still 'till this day can not understand that there is nothing wrong with being gay, or crossdresser, or whatever. I want to let people know about my sexuality and to be able to find other girly boy and have fun with him, but that just won't do! If my family, or friends find out, my life will be done. I can say I am a really strong man, people love me, girls love me, but If I said that I will lose all those privileges. I know some of you will say that I should not care about them and all, but It is not like that, I don't feel like losing everything in my life only because of that, so I am kinda in fucked up position where I can not find a way out and in the end I will probably just forget about femboys and keep on living without that, and trust me I can not just move to another country, money income here is literally 10x lower than USA, so I am kinda stuck here with my job as an artist and salary equal to nothing. One more thing is that there are not more than 1k femboys in this whole country, and only about 10% of them are known in public, so finding one partner is imposible. Is there any advice, or at least person to talk to from time to time, any help is appreciated. Thank you ♥
Zulgore
03/29/17 03:07AM
Well...first of all, that sounds pretty damn shitty, and i'm sorry for you mate.
Me for myself, i'm hetero so i can't understand those problems to 100%, but...i've worked with many people who has or had similar problems (I'm a social worker). I honestly don't believe that denying or rather oppressing your own sexuality and sexual wishes will do you good, that can lead to a lot of stress and in the worst case to serious psychic problems, but...i also can't really think of a solution for your problem. I've never visited Serbia, but i guess you also have some kind of "gay-scene"? Maybe you can find there some fun and tolerance?=)
PS: Feel free to PM me, allthough i sadly can't do much more then talking...=(
ManOrTrap
03/29/17 03:39AM
Zulgore, thank you for that, but there is not really any gay scene, and even if there is some, visiting that place will put me to risk of people I know finding out because I kinda come from a family that is well known in my city, so pretty much I am in a pat position. Once again thank you so much for your answer, I understand what you are trying to say.
ManOrTrap
03/29/17 03:42AM
Sedirae said:
you can be an artist everywhere. a real job would pay better though.


Well I am a professional artist, something like sakimichan but only not as close as she is (this nickname is not my artist name, because I can not take risks), and I get enough money to live nicely, but what I tried to say is that I don't get any money close to possibility of moving out and living somewhere else. Either way thank you for your answer
Kielan
03/29/17 04:08AM
ManOrTrap said:
Hello there! I have something serious to talk about because maybe I need some kind of a help, or just advice, but before I ask that question let me explain the situation.

I am 19 year old male and I live in one not really amazing country. It's Serbia and that's kinda where my problem comes from. I can say I am a manly man and I love girls and all, but I have something that is considered as a sin here. It's not really that I am 100% gay, I just love traps. I understand people here why they hate LGBT, It's simply because they were always at war through the history and all we had is religion to give us a hope, but we still 'till this day can not understand that there is nothing wrong with being gay, or crossdresser, or whatever. I want to let people know about my sexuality and to be able to find other girly boy and have fun with him, but that just won't do! If my family, or friends find out, my life will be done. I can say I am a really strong man, people love me, girls love me, but If I said that I will lose all those privileges. I know some of you will say that I should not care about them and all, but It is not like that, I don't feel like losing everything in my life only because of that, so I am kinda in fucked up position where I can not find a way out and in the end I will probably just forget about femboys and keep on living without that, and trust me I can not just move to another country, money income here is literally 10x lower than USA, so I am kinda stuck here with my job as an artist and salary equal to nothing. One more thing is that there are not more than 1k femboys in this whole country, and only about 10% of them are known in public, so finding one partner is impossible. Is there any advice, or at least person to talk to from time to time, any help is appreciated. Thank you ♥


You will have an easier time moving to a European country, moving to USA without being married or being someone of exceptional talents or skill from an Eastern European country... is impossible, unless you do the green card lottery...



Myraka
03/29/17 05:08AM
I'm going to be blunt. You don't have many options given the situation you've brought up. I'm not going to be mean and sit here and say 'everything will work out' and 'all you have to do is ____' because that's stupid to assume doing a couple of things will automatically fix everything.

Serbia is not going to change their cultural views overnight and if you're going to be there awhile, that lifestyle will have to be suppressed. Not the healthiest solution but coming out about it will just cause more grief and hardship than necessary.

Even if you did admit it, it would be unlikely you would find a partner because they would also be terrified of revealing themselves. You'd be outing yourself and losing so much and gaining absolutely nothing out of it. With that said, staying and saying nothing is your best solution and realizing you will never get to indulge in that part of your life. This isn't what you were hoping to hear but it wouldn't destroy your life in Serbia either.

Now if you are looking for advice to free yourself from this burden and live sexually free (while also taking into consideration that you don't have the finances for it), you're going to have to migrate to Europe somehow. With the lack of finances, I don't know how you are going to do that short of hitch-hiking or other free means and getting a job there. It would probably mean you'd have to keep whatever money you had for simply surviving like food and have the willpower to rough it hard for awhile until you scrape enough money together to find a home.

You'd be starting with nothing and working your way to living the way you want to or sticking where you are and taking what you have without having it all.
Zulgore
03/29/17 05:15AM
I think that sums the whole situation up very well...
Btw, would you "only" lose your social environment with an outing (what is bad enough, no doubt), or would you really have to fear for your "physical integrity"?
rocciazzo
03/29/17 05:20AM
resist as much as you can and save money,the stress will be a lot but moving in another country is the only solution we are people and alone we dont have the strenght to change the way things are
ManOrTrap
03/29/17 07:21AM
Myraka said:
I'm going to be blunt. You don't have many options given the situation you've brought up. I'm not going to be mean and sit here and say 'everything will work out' and 'all you have to do is ____' because that's stupid to assume doing a couple of things will automatically fix everything.

Serbia is not going to change their cultural views overnight and if you're going to be there awhile, that lifestyle will have to be suppressed. Not the healthiest solution but coming out about it will just cause more grief and hardship than necessary.

Even if you did admit it, it would be unlikely you would find a partner because they would also be terrified of revealing themselves. You'd be outing yourself and losing so much and gaining absolutely nothing out of it. With that said, staying and saying nothing is your best solution and realizing you will never get to indulge in that part of your life. This isn't what you were hoping to hear but it wouldn't destroy your life in Serbia either.

Now if you are looking for advice to free yourself from this burden and live sexually free (while also taking into consideration that you don't have the finances for it), you're going to have to migrate to Europe somehow. With the lack of finances, I don't know how you are going to do that short of hitch-hiking or other free means and getting a job there. It would probably mean you'd have to keep whatever money you had for simply surviving like food and have the willpower to rough it hard for awhile until you scrape enough money together to find a home.

You'd be starting with nothing and working your way to living the way you want to or sticking where you are and taking what you have without having it all.


Thank you for everything you said, but I think that I will be moving out of this country, just not any soon, because I am an artist that is growing, and I actually really am because my income is doubled from 2015-2017 and maybe even 3 times higher than it was in 2014., so I can say that I am really improving and if I continue like this, in about 5 years I can actually make my dream come true, It's the only problem that right now I feel screwed up that I have to sit at home like a child and only dream about that, while hiding something and not being able to reach it. But I guess that all I need to do is to stay strong and patient, but whenever I think about someone who is from another country and the way they are enjoying getting love from someone and not being ashamed of it, It's just not fair, it just breaks my heart, because it looks unreal. Thank you all people for nice words, I think I understood thing or two, let's hope that I will be able to reach the top!
Zulgore
03/29/17 07:29AM
ManOrTrap said:
Thank you for everything you said, but I think that I will be moving out of this country, just not any soon, because I am an artist that is growing, and I actually really am because my income is doubled from 2015-2017 and maybe even 3 times higher than it was in 2014., so I can say that I am really improving and if I continue like this, in about 5 years I can actually make my dream come true, It's the only problem that right now I feel screwed up that I have to sit at home like a child and only dream about that, while hiding something and not being able to reach it. But I guess that all I need to do is to stay strong and patient, but whenever I think about someone who is from another country and the way they are enjoying getting love from someone and not being ashamed of it, It's just not fair, it just breaks my heart, because it looks unreal. Thank you all people for nice words, I think I understood thing or two, let's hope that I will be able to reach the top!


That is good man! If you are so far that you can say "sooner or later i WILL move into an other country!" you have something you can work towards!
And in the meantime...it's probably no big consolation, but...at least you have (apparently) free access to the internet. Meet people who have the same preferences as you, chat with them, SKYPE with them, jerk off to pics of traps or whatever...everything is better than oppressing your own sexuality. Hang on, sooner or later you'll be able to get out there. =)
ManOrTrap
03/29/17 11:52AM
Zulgore said:
ManOrTrap said:
Thank you for everything you said, but I think that I will be moving out of this country, just not any soon, because I am an artist that is growing, and I actually really am because my income is doubled from 2015-2017 and maybe even 3 times higher than it was in 2014., so I can say that I am really improving and if I continue like this, in about 5 years I can actually make my dream come true, It's the only problem that right now I feel screwed up that I have to sit at home like a child and only dream about that, while hiding something and not being able to reach it. But I guess that all I need to do is to stay strong and patient, but whenever I think about someone who is from another country and the way they are enjoying getting love from someone and not being ashamed of it, It's just not fair, it just breaks my heart, because it looks unreal. Thank you all people for nice words, I think I understood thing or two, let's hope that I will be able to reach the top!


That is good man! If you are so far that you can say "sooner or later i WILL move into an other country!" you have something you can work towards!
And in the meantime...it's probably no big consolation, but...at least you have (apparently) free access to the internet. Meet people who have the same preferences as you, chat with them, SKYPE with them, jerk off to pics of traps or whatever...everything is better than oppressing your own sexuality. Hang on, sooner or later you'll be able to get out there. =)

Pretty much only thing I can do! Thanks again for your time
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