This goes for both guys and gals (although I think guys might have more to say cause of masturbation.)
Have you or a partner ever used a lube that wasn't normal?

I just heard from a friend of how he basically got tortured cause his GF got shampoo or something on his dick.

Fuck, that shit. Yeah. When I was first figuring out how to jerk off and what felt good, I'd gone in for a shower. And I'd heard about using lube, but never had anything I could use. Welp, my eyes went over to the big bottle of shampoo. Light bulb. Felt good at first, really good, theeeeeen it got inside, and for the rest of the night, my dick felt like it was on fire. It hurt so, so damn bad. Remember kids! Shampoo does not make good lube!

Dont use sanitizer either.Sure youre eliminating 99.999% of germs and bacteria on your junk but shit burns like hell!

But my dick needs to sparkle! Sparkle I tell you!

I grabbed some aloe vera gel to fuck a girl's arse with. I was wearing a condom so didn't notice anything but her arsehole burned like fuck apparently. Presumably due to the alcohol content.

This thread is hilarious to me.

Yep

I'm sure it'll only get better from here.

This turned out better than expected lol

Dick so polished it can cut through diamond

I recall there's a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic where the author used a popsicle as lubricate.

Well for starters, yeah shampoo, not a good choice. Yet for some reason being the idiot I was I still did it 4 more times. There was also that odd period when i used shit like butter and stuff? Some good some bad. (Wash your dick properly afterwards btw unless you want some smelly penis)

The most unusual though is something I don't even know what it was. All I know is that it was green, felt a little cold, and it made me think of TMNT afterwards. Probably should have asked what it was...probably

*2 years later dick proceeds to transform into a mutant penis*

I strangely remember something like that.
Also sounds weird enough for a fanfic allright

as lube? Like wait, did they just slather it on themselves?

I don't know really. I've heard of it, but never thought to seek it out.