Guilt from the way you show love..?
I’ve been thinking a bit recently about the way I show I love for friends I feel close to and one thing is that I know for sure it’s not ”normal” (normative), like I enjoy being very intimate with them if it’s mutual and stuff but lately I’ve started feeling guilty about it. As in I can’t tell if some of them feel hurt that I like to be close like that with others without it being a romantical relationship. I just feel like i have a lot of love to give to those I care about and it’s genuine.
Since I was a kid I hated the idea that i could only love one person cause it just never made sense to me, like why can’t I mutually share love with a group of people?
If you can’t tell I’m obviously not 100% monogamous and I have a different view on friendships and romantic relationships, I’ve figured out i’m a relationship anarchist…
But despite this recently i feel unusually insecure in a way and overthinking maybe? I care a lot about my friends but it’s very hard for me to read people (i have autism) and especially one of them I don’t know how to ask him if he’s been starting to feel uncomfortable. I have always checked in on my friends and been as clear as i can be on my intentions and they have consented to it.
But yeah i just wonder if anyone else is experiencing something similar, feeling guilty about not being normative in how you express love to your friends. I’ts just who i am and how i express myself so I don’t want to be something i’m not, I do want to be more aware though… and please no comments about dumb shit like cheating or whatever. People have different relationship dynamics.
Oh another thing I want to add is that I guess i’m somewhat worried they think that my interest and love for them isn’t genuine. We talk about everything and anything so it’s never just sexual things.
Since I was a kid I hated the idea that i could only love one person cause it just never made sense to me, like why can’t I mutually share love with a group of people?
If you can’t tell I’m obviously not 100% monogamous and I have a different view on friendships and romantic relationships, I’ve figured out i’m a relationship anarchist…
But despite this recently i feel unusually insecure in a way and overthinking maybe? I care a lot about my friends but it’s very hard for me to read people (i have autism) and especially one of them I don’t know how to ask him if he’s been starting to feel uncomfortable. I have always checked in on my friends and been as clear as i can be on my intentions and they have consented to it.
But yeah i just wonder if anyone else is experiencing something similar, feeling guilty about not being normative in how you express love to your friends. I’ts just who i am and how i express myself so I don’t want to be something i’m not, I do want to be more aware though… and please no comments about dumb shit like cheating or whatever. People have different relationship dynamics.
Oh another thing I want to add is that I guess i’m somewhat worried they think that my interest and love for them isn’t genuine. We talk about everything and anything so it’s never just sexual things.
