I really like macho men and beefy guys in real life, very smexy. But when it comes to meeting guys online for dirty chats and RP, they're just lacking in anything really interesting. It's probably a case of wanting different things IRL over online chatting, but I'd like to hear what people think or if I'm alone on this topic. Not meant to rag on anyone or make guys feel bad about themselves at all, just something I thought would be neat to share.

As a bi lady I'd say it's about 50/50 in real life, but I definitely prefer talking to girls online than guys. I think women are just naturally more sociable than guys so it's easier for us to talk to each other. Not to sound like a bitch but a lot of guys on here just don't really know how to interact, nor do they know how to make themselves attractive. Of course there ARE plenty of cool guys on here and some of them I've gotten to know ~quite~ well, but it's definitely happened more for women than men

Most of my friends in real life are guys, I've pretty much grown up alongside guys moreso than girls...... I've never really been into the beefy, macho man aesthetic. It can be pleasing on the eye at times but what I really like about guys is a bit of silliness, that faux bravado and that thing they do where they always try to impress girls and make us laugh. Guys, you are great fun. -v-

The problem I've been having is I get a "girl" to do some actual sex chatting and then they inevitably reveal that they're just a gay dude "role playing" as a girl. It's frustrating as hell and it's also kind of weird that this is considered a normal part of RP culture and not a non consensual, dishonest way for gay men to trap straight men into their fantasies of being dominated.
This is most common complaint I've heard is that the Doms are too unoriginal, but the subs are too shy and finicky about actually being subs. Finding women that actually want to do things in order to orgasm instead of just a creative writing exercise is quite difficult.

i've always tried to bring something unique to the table. in non-lewd spaces and in real life i'm kind of an oddball so i don't see why it should be any different when i'm horny. some like my nonstandard approach, some don't. but i really don't want to compromise myself for the sake of others so, ya know. i've had so many fun talks with people that only reinforce the idea that being a weirdo is the way forward.

i just like making cute people cum and laugh in equal measure. :))

Doesn't really have anything to do with the thread, but is this really a problem? I mean if you're not gonna ask for nudes or travel to meet them irl, what does it matter what the person behind the messages looks like?

You're probably just not finding the right ones, honestly. I'd say the majority of guys on this website are purely here to get off, so any conversations they have with people — whether it's RP or dirty chat — tend to be fairly low effort, only really focused or caring about themselves, and then they just fizzle out completely when they eventually finish. At the very least, that's the impression I've gotten from some of my friends on here, which sucks. And I don't necessarily think that's exclusive to men on here, but they're likely the main culprits.

I myself actually really enjoy getting to know and connect with people on here, so I always try to go the distance and put in effort when someone actually does seem interested in trying to get to know each other, or set up something nice! <3

Honestly yeah, I kinda get you there. I've had a much easier time talking with ladies then other guys, not to say all of the dudes I've talked with have been bad but I've had more bad convos with guys then girls.

As a bi man who's been on both ends of the spectrum, it's definitely a sense of quality vs quantity. There's a ton of men out there who are eager to get off, but this often doesn't extend to meaningful relationships of any kind. No carrying conversations, no real end goal or courtesy beyond being horny. While chats with women are fewer, I've typically found them more rewarding.

Obviously there are plenty of good dudes I've chatted with as well, but the expectations and feels of the conversation are kind of different in a way that's hard to describe. Guys are typically expected to initiate, and as such many cast as wide a net as possible (Something I've been trying to do without being super annoying to women about), and there's only so much effort you can put into that. Whereas the targets of their affections, which is usually girls but def has included me, often get bombarded and have to be significantly pickier. True of rp requests, dating apps, etc.

In general, the best chats are the ones where it's clear that they can treat you like a person and carry conversation even while being horny, as BiDaddyCheat said. Lots of men can do that, but many, many more shoot their shot without trying. Men or women, it's just better to be kind and interested in the other person beyond just a quick nut.

A creative writing exercise is way closer to what I'm looking for. Also why are you specifying gay men? Guys that are straight do the same thing, roleplaying as women in order to actually see some fantasy play out. It's really weird how you're making it a gay thing when it isn't.

Other than that brain-dead comment, plenty of insightful comments here, thank you kindly. It could also be the kinks I have and the way I personally RP and plot things out pushing guys away who would be fun to talk to and maybe RP with. Though with as wide a net as I've had over my ten years RPing, very few masculine lads have been worthy catches. It's, without a doubt, a big part of the way I do things, but I still feel bad not having fun with a large group of people I really love.

Actually yea I’ve talked to straight men that like doing that just cuz it’s fun. It’s not “gay men trapping straight men” though I won’t say it’s more men who are into men that would be into being dominated by a man

Yeah, what I've seen is straight or bi men RPing as women to see women in the sexual roles they want to see, not acting like them. If a gay man wanted to RP, he'd be a man. It's very silly to not see that.

yeah. it has to be said, if a gay man wants to have sex i don't think he wants a woman to be involved.

I do tend to act more depressed and masculine in-person but the major reason is because I still live in my parents' house

Honestly, I never understood the need to act differently. Just be you, genuinely, wherever you are. If anyone dislikes that, fuck em.