Hello! So I've been RPing in here and on servers, and sometimes just chatting, for years. I've had some good experiences but also I'd say 60% of people just ghosted me. I feel like I was more kind and showed more interest in people before than I do now, not that I am unkind to people, but I don't feel like giving them anything because they may as well just ghost me the next message and my effort will go down the drain. Even recently I got a mail from someone who seemed very kind, so I was also kind to them, and they just ended up ghosting me after a couple days talking. Its tiring and frustating. Do you guys feel that way? Do you guys get more "dry" over the years? How do you deal with that?

just keep in mind that some people are rp'ing to get off, and when they get off they'll just dip and not feel the need to keep going. Also they could genuinely have something that takes them away, or alternatively could get bored. The latter not even being any fault of your own. I've had it myself when chatting with people who were very fun and engaging to chat with, still end up bored after a little while.

Just try not to take it personally and stay mindful of why others might ghost. Sometimes people just dont like having to apologise, and dont feel like they owe strangers on the internet a reason why they left :p

I say that those who ghost me weren't really worth my time anyways and they've already sorted themselves out for me and go about my life

I also learned to think that way after those years. But at the same time, if you accept that "nobody owes anything to anyone, not even politeness" mentality, isn't it natural to just become a dry person who isn't willing to give much effort? How do you bring yourself to do anything more than the bare minimum if you know they may just leave at any moment?

It can be disappointing to get ghosted but it doesn't bother me that much since I understand why people choose to ghost. Sometimes they get bored, or uncomfortable with the RP, or finish jerking off, or things just come up, etc. And a lot of the time if you try to explain that you want to drop the RP, the partner will either get pissy, or pouty, or try to offer some compromise when you'd really just prefer to stop all together.
It can feel like you need to MacGyver your way through a conversation just to bring an RP to a polite and peaceful end. It's not always that difficult of course, but just a few bad experiences is all it really takes make you wary of having to tell someone you've lost interest in an RP.
So I don't blame people at all for choosing to simply ghost instead.

As for losing your passion and desire to put effort into RP's, that's just bound to happen over time and honestly I recommend just taking a break when it does. Moderation is the key my friend, if you start feeling burnt out from bad experiences and fear that it's effecting the quality of your RP'ing, then step away from it for a couple of weeks so that you can mentally reset yourself and come back fresh, ready to have a good time.

If you want people that don't just ghost you outta the blue and care about you, then look to establish that you're more than just fuckbuddies, I guess. Like, if you put in the effort to get to know people and you eventually become friends with benefits, then you're way more likely to keep them around or at least get updates on if they'll leave for a bit or nah.

Not like that doesn't guarantee ghosting to not happen, but people are more likely to care about friends rather than people they just see as a source of porn.

Also, only keep few enough friends where you can have actual meaningful interactions with them or make sure that the ones you have around are ones you actually care about. Like, some people will have 100+ contacts in their DMs and ghosting is bound to happen, cuz this shit isn't a full-time job anyone wants to do 8 hours a day lol

I've been lucky enough to find 1 girl through RP who I can be friends with and we both have some consideration for each other, and I try to meet other people who I can have that with. But then it's like... People take the initiative to mail me and seem very kind and interested at first, and then they just disappoint me. Like I'm not even asking for RP or chat with people, it feels like people just come with the only purpose of disappointing me. Now when I get mail from people asking to chat or RP, I just think "Oh... here comes another" and I don't feel like putting effort to get to know them or putting effort on the rp

Detach yourself from these conversations because generally when people try to set up a sexual chat, they're horny. This, as we all know, is a transient emotion which often leads you to do things you might not see the full consequences of, and then abandon when the mood abates.

What I'm trying to say is, we do stupid shit when we're horny and end up not following through later on. I wouldn't worry about it.

Focusing on the positives of the interaction. Did you at least get the opportunity to discuss, and even partially play out a specific scenario you’ve been looking for? Did you enjoy exploring, improving and practicing your writing? Awesome!

Practice self-love and stay positive too, if you know you’re a DAMN good and capable writer with a lot to offer, you’ve got the right attitude. It’s not your loss if you got ghosted, they’re the ones missing out on a good time!

I'll second this!

By the way, I had a lot of fun trying to choose least and most favorite in the other thread. Lol.

I tone down the messaging for a while, chill, focus on different aspects of the site, then I get back to it more actively.

It still sucks and always will suck since I tend to get invested into people with whom I talk, but it is what it is.

Believe you're the better person than they will ever be in their entire life!
I'm kidding.
I used to feel the same as you when first socializing around but now I don't give a shit. It's the ghosts loss at the end of my day.
As for drying out, not at all. Its never changed. I'm still with the same amount since day one.
To achieve on not giving a shit (or not really having people that ghost you have influence over your emotions), I just took a deserved break from hitting up new people. During that time, I detached THE SHIT out of caring for the ghosts. And when coming back, I felt like a new person.

Mmm, try not to take it too negatively, if they ghosted, consider it time saved, it means somewhere along the lines, things didn't click, don't take it too seriously ^^

I've changed for sure due to the ghosting. One thing is I'm a lot more business-like at the start, like I vet people harder - make sure our kinks and limits line up, that any clashes won't be a problem, and I'm assertive about making sure I can get what I'm looking for from the other person before we start. It saves a lot of time I find, though it does mean I can be kind of ruthless about turning people down.

But I think your head is in the right place OP, it's about being direct and making sure it's a decent match before diving in, and that way I can still be polite and not feel as hollow about it.

I dont understand what you mean. What you get out of a good rp doesnt change, so theres no reason to not put the same amount of effort in. Even despite the possibility. Just that if it does inevitably happen, that you get ghosted, to just be mindful of the various reasons why people would do so.